Hospice Is Not Giving Up, It’s Additional Support
There are certain conversations that carry a lot of emotion before they even begin. Hospice is often one of them.
At this week’s Project Present caregiver support group, we were joined by Bethany Holohan from Three Oaks Hospice. Together, we spent the hour talking honestly about what hospice care actually is, what it looks like for individuals living with Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias, and how it can support caregivers long before the final days of life.
What stood out most during our discussion was this:
Hospice is not about giving up.
It is about adding support.
For many families, the word “hospice” arrives wrapped in fear, grief, uncertainty, or even guilt. But learning more about the hospice benefit often brings relief. Caregivers begin to realize they do not have to carry everything alone.
What Hospice Really Provides
Hospice is a Medicare benefit designed to support the spiritual, emotional, and physical needs of both the individual and their caregivers.
One of the most important things we discussed is that hospice care can take place wherever someone is living, whether at home, in assisted living, or in another residence (though services are not available in hospital). Hospice is not limited to a facility setting, and it is not reserved only for the final days of life.
In fact, individuals can receive hospice services for an extended period of time if they qualify.
Bethany shared that hospice care includes:
Medical equipment
Medications related to comfort and symptom management, delivered to the home 24/7
Supplies such as incontinence products, bed pads, and toiletries
An interdisciplinary care team including nurses, aides, social workers, chaplains, bereavement coordinators, and volunteers
Access to care 24 hours a day, seven days a week
One benefit many caregivers were surprised to learn about was respite care.
All hospice providers are required to offer a respite benefit, which allows your loved one to stay in a nursing facility for up to five days while caregivers rest, travel, recover, or simply take a much-needed pause. Transportation to and from the facility is also covered.
Sometimes caregivers do not realize how exhausted they are until someone finally gives them permission to breathe.
Signs It May Be Time to Explore Hospice Support
Another important part of our conversation focused on recognizing when additional support may be helpful.
Some common indicators discussed included:
Increased pain or shortness of breath
Frequent infections or falls
Recurrent emergency room visits or hospitalizations
Progressive cognitive or functional decline
Unintentional weight loss
Changes in eating, verbal communication, or mobility
Behavioral or sensory changes
Pressure ulcers or non-healing wounds
Dehydration or tube feeding combined with cognitive impairment
For individuals living with dementia, decline is often gradual and layered. Families sometimes adjust little by little without realizing how much support is truly needed.
Bethany reminded us that families do not have to figure this out alone. Hospice organizations can perform an assessment to help determine eligibility and explain options without obligation.
Sometimes simply having the conversation can ease anxiety.
Caregivers Need Support Too
One theme that continues to come up in our support groups is the idea that caregivers often wait too long to ask for help.
Many caregivers become so focused on protecting the dignity, safety, and comfort of the person they love that they forget their own health matters, too.
But caregiving was never meant to happen in isolation.
Support matters. Community matters. Rest matters.
Whether support comes through hospice services, a support group, a trusted friend, or simply hearing “me too” from another caregiver, connection changes things.
A Little Laughter Before We Go
Because no support group newsletter would be complete without a couple of jokes:
Why can't humans hear a dog whistle?
Because dogs can't whistle. 😂
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny. 🤣
Thank you to everyone who joined us for this meaningful conversation. And a special thank you to Bethany Holohan and the team at Three Oaks Hospice for helping caregivers better understand the support available to them.
If you have questions about hospice care, Bethany can be reached directly at:
Cell: (636) 577-0522
Please join us for an upcoming support group session. Access our full program calendar at projectpresent.org/calendar. Finally, remember to take care of yourself, too.
